I stepped back, letting my hand fall
to my side. I felt his words stab into my flesh like a knife and I winced in
pain. What had happened between us? Why was he so angry? I tried to convince
myself that it had nothing to do with me- that he was just upset because of
what happened with Jake- but I knew that I was just feeding myself a lie. It
had everything to do with me, that’s why he was so angry. My insides knotted up
into a ball and I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach. Sure enough,
I walked over to the grass, bent over, and proceeded to see my lunch for the
second time today. Everyone looked at me and I felt embarrassment well up
inside me, my cheeks becoming flushed and hot.
I turned
away and walked back to my truck, my mind reeling and my stomach still
churning. I practically collapsed against it, clutching to the side of the
truck. A body braced itself against me to help keep me steady. I turned my head
and Tammy was by my side- she was always there for me to lean on and this was
no different. Rhoslyn was crossing the parking lot toward us with a concerned
look on her face, “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” I shook my head, unable to
speak as tears choked me. Apparently Tammy had seen most of what had happened
and did a quick recap for Rhoslyn as she stood there with her mouth gaping in
surprise.
Tammy and I
exchanged a look that told me she wasn’t going to tell Rhoslyn about what
happened after we left the club if I didn’t want her to- and I knew that
Rhoslyn would completely freak out if she knew. They stayed with me until I was
stable enough to drive myself home and the whole ride there I couldn’t help but
realize how thankful I was to have them. They had become my whole world since
Cain and I had broken up. They were the ones I called when I was upset and
crying or happy and laughing. They were the ones who organized for me to spend
the weekends with them instead of home by myself. They were the best friends I
could ever ask for and I hadn’t even thanked them. So, if Rhoslyn and Tammy are
reading this, this is a formal thank you. You two girls mean the world to me
and I would be so lost without you. It’s times like this that you realize who
your real friends are. They gather around you and lift you up when all you feel
like is falling down.
I spent the
rest of the night talking on the phone with Rhoslyn and messaging Tammy online.
That night, I drifted away to sleep in such a peaceful place that I almost
forgot what had happened earlier and how confused I was about my situation with
Cain. My dreams were not disturbed, they were sweet and enjoyable and something
I had longed of for weeks. I knew that even though my heart throbbed painfully
and my veins coursed with regrets and unsaid words, everything would be
alright. My future was being laid out in front of me and all I could do at this
point was keep walking on the twisted road through the darkest part of the
forest. Eventually, I knew I would come to an open glade basking in sunshine. This
is where my happiness will reside. This is where all my past questions and
doubts will be answered and proven. And I was content.
*This chapter is dedicated to my two best friends- the living, breathing, Tammy and Rhoslyn. You two ladies have gotten me through so much and I will be here to repay the favor when your time comes to endure a rough patch. I love you two like sisters <3 *
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