Friday, December 21, 2012

Chapter 12: The Day the Dam Burst


            Snow fell lightly upon the ground. The day felt so peaceful. Little did the world know, a volcano was about to erupt from inside me and spew angry black dust all over the surrounding areas. My heart throbbed and I thought about how I hadn’t eaten in over a week. Well, small things when I absolutely had to force myself, but other than that I had refused to consume. I was the odd one out at Christmas dinner, although I still adorned a decorative, albeit fake, smile. I had learned things over vacation that I had never wanted to know. My heart had hardened to protect itself. Inside, a wounded and jaded heart slowly pumped away, and a cast of iron had forged itself around the pitiful remains.

            I had spent most of my time with my family and Tammy. They did their best to distract me from the whole situation. One thing was for sure, my parents were growing more and more infuriated with Cain’s rising stupidity level. They were about five seconds from lift off when I informed them of the rumor I had heard from, not only one, but multiple different sources. They all had said the same thing: he lied.

            Thursday came around, the first day after vacation, and I knew that I could no longer contain what bubbled under my surface. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. Cain walked into homeroom wearing a slight smile- it made my heart lurch and my stomach clench. His eyes met mine and I knew he saw it, “What’s wrong?”

            I stood up, “I need to talk to you.”

            I knew my words would worry him. Good. Let him sweat this one out. We walked out onto the porch and he came close to me, “What do we need to talk about?”

            “You lied to me,” I kept my emotions hidden deeply inside me even though every fiber of my being was screaming for tears.

            He looked confused and wary at the same time, “What? What are you talking about, Claire?”

            “I heard what you said, Cain! I heard that you dumped me for that dumb skank, Leah, who already has a boyfriend because you think she’s super-hot and you want to fuck her. Three days after you tell me you want to be alone and figure things out, you make a plan to move in on her because you think her boyfriend doesn’t care. Newsflash, she’s way out of your league and he does care. Probably more than you ever did about me. Maybe you should have been focusing on our relationship instead of her ass in those fucking yoga pants you apparently like so much! So, here it is. This is your last chance to realize that you made a mistake. After today, I will never come back. I’ve spent enough nights crying over you and pretending I was alright. Apparently you aren’t the only one who can lie,” My voice was even and cold.

            He just stood there, speechless, taking in everything I had to say. We stood there, just looking at each other, as silence came between us and entangled us within its grasp. Finally he said, “I really don’t know how to respond to this.”

            I smirked, partially out of complete and utter relief that I had spoken my mind, and partially because I couldn’t believe he was not only giving me no answer, but he was letting me slip away once again. “Wrong answer,” I responded and walked away. I knew he would have to follow me, we had homeroom together, but I still got the closure I had wanted, even without answers. I proved who I was and so did he. His chance was gone and he would realize that he would never find another girl like me. He would never find another girl who treated him like her knight in shining armor, her hero, her prince. And, most of all, I knew that I would be happy again.

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